WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN CHOICES!
You’re asking God to show you the “best” person to marry, but what if there isn’t a “best” but rather several options with varying strengths and weaknesses? It’s a matter of preference. No man is perfect, so you get to pick what kinds of problems you’ll have as well as what strengths you’ll be blessed with. Rather than praying, “Is this one I’m supposed to marry,” I believe it’s wiser and more biblical to pray, “Is this a wise choice?” The first prayer assumes there’s only one choice.
The fact that God can lead two people to consider each other doesn’t negate the fact that He leaves the choice with you. it’s still our decision to accept that leading, to obey it, and then to OWN it.
I understand that Christians want to believe that God has someone special chosen just for us. Biblically it holds no ground. I have heard people quote Matthew 1:20, where people are saying God told Joseph to get married to Mary. The words read “Joseph, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife”. God never ordered Joseph to get married to Mary, he was just told not to be afraid about choosing her as a wife. Also in Hosea 1:2, Hosea was told to go out a marry a promiscuous woman. God didn't tell him which one, Hosea had to choose one. We choose who we marry and live our lives with. God can certainly guide our decision through prayer. God gave us something in the beginning called ‘free will’.
Most people had assume that their “feelings” of God confirmation for their spouse choice were valid, but they still end up miserable, then they blame God for it. But what if Scripture tells us to apply wisdom instead of relying on mystical “confirmation?” Isn’t it possible that your hearing of God may not have been genuine? Used wisdom rather than feeling! I think the key to this is discernment. Christians can certainly get guidance from God in every area of their lives, and choosing a spouse is no exception, but Christians in our modern day church seem to be lacking greatly in discernment.
God does not divinely appoint everything in our lives, He leaves it up to us to choose Him, to choose His son Jesus Christ for our salvation, and likely He leaves it up to us to choose our spouse. Although, I think people can hear who God wants to be their spouse prophetically, but they should use the gift of wisdom and the gift of discernment along with hearing Gods prophetic will. Wise counsel is necessary as well.
In conclusion, What if there’s no such thing as “the one”— there’s something even better in God’s plan? What if being “in love” isn’t a good enough reason to get married? What if God designed marriage to make us holy rather than happy? Someone who will walk with them on their spiritual journey.